Binkappakxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a small, dishonest pigeon.

Binkappakxuc created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Binkappakxuc, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Binkappakxuc, he will turn you into a puffin.

Binkappakxuc's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Binkappakxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Gulls are not to be trusted.

5. Do not kill whales.