Tengeplam is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, annoying centaur.

Tengeplam created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tengeplam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tengeplam, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tengeplam's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Tengeplam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Tengeplam in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always remove stockings before touching aluminium.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Run away if seven voles approach from the north.

5. Never feed turnips to dolphins while wearing boots.