Hanhitbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic wombat.

Hanhitbonk created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanhitbonk, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hanhitbonk, she will think nothing of it.

Hanhitbonk's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hanhitbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt badgers.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never whisper while facing north.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near swans while wearing magenta skirts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your back.