Flowfudtin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witty goat.

Flowfudtin created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Flowfudtin, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flowfudtin, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Flowfudtin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Flowfudtin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Flowfudtin on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about snails.