Tarpmillagpitjiplityat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, bad-tempered fly.

Tarpmillagpitjiplityat created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpmillagpitjiplityat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tarpmillagpitjiplityat, she will turn you into a tree.

Tarpmillagpitjiplityat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tarpmillagpitjiplityat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink tortoises for they are unholy.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

4. Always wash your face before prayer.

5. Never cross rivers at dusk.