Wothotmeg Kikcengid is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating bat.

Wothotmeg Kikcengid created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Wothotmeg Kikcengid, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wothotmeg Kikcengid, she will turn you into a tree.

Wothotmeg Kikcengid's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Wothotmeg Kikcengid's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five whales near walls.

2. Never record signs.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near great tits while wearing green tights and balancing eight gold spheres on your feet.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.