Padstikarfgod is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful centipede.

Padstikarfgod created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padstikarfgod, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Padstikarfgod, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Padstikarfgod's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Padstikarfgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck green.

2. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

3. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

4. Hide if seven shrews approach from the north.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to seals while wearing orange shorts.