Jamdumkikort is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring horse.

Jamdumkikort created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamdumkikort, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamdumkikort, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Jamdumkikort's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Jamdumkikort's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Jamdumkikort in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never wear gray shorts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.