Bassfigcin is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful owl.

Bassfigcin created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassfigcin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bassfigcin, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bassfigcin's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bassfigcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Never wear magenta rings.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.