Armsawqueegdusstipjam is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, loving cow.

Armsawqueegdusstipjam created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Armsawqueegdusstipjam, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Armsawqueegdusstipjam, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Armsawqueegdusstipjam's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Armsawqueegdusstipjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Armsawqueegdusstipjam on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.