Gemlegfit is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful dolphin.

Gemlegfit created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemlegfit, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gemlegfit, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gemlegfit's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gemlegfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while unclean.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near snakes while wearing purple scarves and balancing eight titanium spheres on your arms.

3. Do not prepare carrots while wearing trousers.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Do not place bread upon stone.