Linpindibjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fussy finch.

Linpindibjarn created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linpindibjarn, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Linpindibjarn, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Linpindibjarn's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Linpindibjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Put Linpindibjarn first in all things.

2. Never feed nuts to hamsters while wearing tights.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Never go into pink rooms.