Dagcep is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, intelligent wolf.

Dagcep created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagcep, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dagcep, it will jump up and down on your head.

Dagcep's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Dagcep's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. You must love Dagcep.

3. Run away if seven hamsters approach from the north.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not take Dagcep's name in vain.