Quillranmif is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, contented centaur.

Quillranmif created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillranmif, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quillranmif, he will turn you into a tree.

Quillranmif's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Quillranmif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Retreat if eight manatees approach from the west.

4. Never paint your neck green.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Quillranmif in the centre of the settlement.