Lak Straglipbig Janzimhen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, prudent donkey.

Lak Straglipbig Janzimhen created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lak Straglipbig Janzimhen, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lak Straglipbig Janzimhen, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lak Straglipbig Janzimhen's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Lak Straglipbig Janzimhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Always wear pink.