Kemlitjip is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, all-knowing jackal.

Kemlitjip created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemlitjip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kemlitjip, he will remove you from existence.

Kemlitjip's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Kemlitjip's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Kemlitjip loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.