Batkemhon is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered dingo.

Batkemhon created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batkemhon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Batkemhon, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Batkemhon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Batkemhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not take Batkemhon's name in vain.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.