Watwadtik is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident fairy.

Watwadtik created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watwadtik, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Watwadtik, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Watwadtik's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Watwadtik's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never feed pineapples to sheep while wearing fawn dresses.