Yartlaglib Gemwanhat is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, confident giraffe.

Yartlaglib Gemwanhat created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Yartlaglib Gemwanhat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yartlaglib Gemwanhat, it will turn you into a hamster.

Yartlaglib Gemwanhat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Yartlaglib Gemwanhat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry whales.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Yartlaglib Gemwanhat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.