Jatyarlcumnadmis is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, effective wombat.

Jatyarlcumnadmis created the Whirlpool Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatyarlcumnadmis, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jatyarlcumnadmis, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jatyarlcumnadmis' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Jatyarlcumnadmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare tomatoes while filled with envy.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Always share spinach with strangers, but never with squirrels.

4. You must never eat lentils.

5. Respect your elders.