Shavtapcad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, benevolent chinchilla.

Shavtapcad created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavtapcad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Shavtapcad, it will turn you into a hamster.

Shavtapcad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Shavtapcad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Shavtapcad.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near cats while wearing white boots and balancing four gold spheres on your head.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.