Quagkonwab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonourable alligator.

Quagkonwab created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagkonwab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quagkonwab, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Quagkonwab's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Quagkonwab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

2. Retreat if six great tits approach from the south.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not cook food in pots.