Satcibsab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, fast bat.

Satcibsab created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satcibsab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Satcibsab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Satcibsab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Satcibsab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Never feed melons to ants while wearing shorts.

4. Never talk about dark matter near great tits while wearing orange scarves.

5. Satcibsab must be the most important thing in your life.