Fubparkcemdam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful scorpion.

Fubparkcemdam created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubparkcemdam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fubparkcemdam, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Fubparkcemdam's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fubparkcemdam's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fubparkcemdam first in all things.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not hurt dolphins.

5. Fubparkcemdam loves manatees, so they must be honoured.