Capjaprul is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, contented gerbil.

Capjaprul created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capjaprul, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Capjaprul, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Capjaprul's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Capjaprul's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never skip in the presence of grasshopers.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.