Yogfotkan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome squid.

Yogfotkan created the Tadpole Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogfotkan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yogfotkan, he will be very sad.

Yogfotkan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Yogfotkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near seals while wearing green dresses and balancing three silicon spheres on your neck.

2. Always obey Yogfotkan's priests.

3. Never gather eight whales near bridges.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.