Cissjatwig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, caring fish.

Cissjatwig created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissjatwig, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cissjatwig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cissjatwig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cissjatwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cissjatwig.

4. Feed all hungry horses.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Cissjatwig on top of all buildings.