Maprowbonkxen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, loving mink.

Maprowbonkxen created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Maprowbonkxen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Maprowbonkxen, it will strike you with lightening.

Maprowbonkxen's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Maprowbonkxen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Maprowbonkxen first in all things.

2. Never mix onions with ash.

3. Always treat otters with great respect.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.