Dagbidlak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient meerkat.

Dagbidlak created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagbidlak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dagbidlak, it will turn you into a mouse.

Dagbidlak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Dagbidlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Never bounce in the presence of frogs.

5. Never think about gravity.