Honpommob is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic turtle.

Honpommob created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Honpommob, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Honpommob, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Honpommob's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Honpommob's Holy Commandments

1. Always store parsnips above ground.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Never think about dark energy near swans while wearing white ear rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your face.

4. Never handle silicon while unclean.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.