Weesadnut is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic snail.

Weesadnut created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Weesadnut, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Weesadnut, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Weesadnut's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Weesadnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never wear black scarves.

5. Never mix beans with water.