Cablagjab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, flying yak.

Cablagjab created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cablagjab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cablagjab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cablagjab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Cablagjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never feed cherries to pigs while wearing trousers.

3. You must pray to Cablagjab nine times a day.

4. Retreat if five mites approach from the south.

5. Always help sick ants.