Bamxenlog is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, awesome mole.

Bamxenlog created the Virgo Supercluster two years ago.

If you believe in Bamxenlog, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bamxenlog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bamxenlog's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bamxenlog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Hide from violet ducks for they are unholy.

5. Never look at comets.