Witveenminomt is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, sage cat.

Witveenminomt created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Witveenminomt, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Witveenminomt, she will turn you into a frog.

Witveenminomt's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Witveenminomt's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Witveenminomt on top of all buildings.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never paint your face mauve.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.
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