Mumvonknurt is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, fussy grasshopper.

Mumvonknurt created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumvonknurt, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mumvonknurt, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mumvonknurt's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Mumvonknurt's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Mumvonknurt.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

5. Retreat if eight ducks approach from the south.