Litpag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, all-knowing guinea pig.

Litpag created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litpag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Litpag, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Litpag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Litpag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.