Flagcatjan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, egotistical penguin.

Flagcatjan created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Flagcatjan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flagcatjan, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flagcatjan's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Flagcatjan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always look after injured badgers.