Ontbentonk is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, generous cat.

Ontbentonk created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Ontbentonk, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ontbentonk, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ontbentonk's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Ontbentonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never think about planets.