Caplinyok is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, kind clam.

Caplinyok created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Caplinyok, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Caplinyok, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Caplinyok's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Caplinyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near badgers while wearing turquoise shirts.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Caplinyok on top of all buildings.

5. Do not chop down trees.