Wikjignurt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring octopus.

Wikjignurt created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikjignurt, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wikjignurt, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Wikjignurt's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Wikjignurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing pink corsets and balancing three platinum spheres on your chest.

3. Run away if five dolphins approach from the east.

4. Do not eat rice.

5. Never look in ponds.