Hatgubpad is a god.

It takes the form of a small, compassionate raccoon.

Hatgubpad created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Hatgubpad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hatgubpad, it will turn you into a duck.

Hatgubpad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hatgubpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Hatgubpad loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Run away if five seals approach from the east.