Lithassug Larnkopvab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful coyote.

Lithassug Larnkopvab created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lithassug Larnkopvab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lithassug Larnkopvab, she will torture you forever.

Lithassug Larnkopvab's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Lithassug Larnkopvab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.