Fatstikjab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-confident scorpion.

Fatstikjab created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatstikjab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fatstikjab, he will remove you from existence.

Fatstikjab's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fatstikjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never feed apples to nematodes while wearing white skirts.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Fatstikjab in the centre of the settlement.