Fagpangbimkap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, loving hare.

Fagpangbimkap created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagpangbimkap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fagpangbimkap, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fagpangbimkap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Fagpangbimkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Do not travel during autumn.