Dagpanbus is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, boastful eagle.

Dagpanbus created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagpanbus, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dagpanbus, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dagpanbus' most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Dagpanbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Never talk about spacetime near horses while wearing green hats.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near rats while wearing fawn ear rings and balancing three nickel spheres on your legs.

5. You must love Dagpanbus.