Dossjenquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, blissful dove.

Dossjenquam created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossjenquam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dossjenquam, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dossjenquam's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Dossjenquam's Holy Commandments

1. Dossjenquam loves ducks, so they must be respected.

2. Hide if four great tits approach from the south.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Never eat beans.