Vigtalbim Cepyarhas is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, self-assured dolphin.

Vigtalbim Cepyarhas created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigtalbim Cepyarhas, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vigtalbim Cepyarhas, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vigtalbim Cepyarhas' most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Vigtalbim Cepyarhas' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never eat onions.