Monwanpom is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, almighty wren.

Monwanpom created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Monwanpom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Monwanpom, she will not care.

Monwanpom's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Monwanpom's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Monwanpom must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not chop down trees.