Kabgengum is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, grumpy centipede.

Kabgengum created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabgengum, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kabgengum, he will not care at all.

Kabgengum's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Kabgengum's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo swans, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never run in the presence of cats.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing purple skirts and balancing five iron spheres on your head.