Gessvonkhit is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, cheerful finch.

Gessvonkhit created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessvonkhit, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gessvonkhit, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gessvonkhit's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gessvonkhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Feed all hungry eagles.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to badgers while wearing orange shoes.