Gidzakmab is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthoughtful penguin.

Gidzakmab created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidzakmab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gidzakmab, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gidzakmab's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Gidzakmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

3. Never allow capybaras to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Hide from fawn dolphins for they are unholy.