Stipmadontcap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful armadillo.

Stipmadontcap created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipmadontcap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Stipmadontcap, she will not invite you to parties.

Stipmadontcap's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Stipmadontcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Do not take Stipmadontcap's name in vain.

4. Run away from gray goats, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about otters.